What is this Book?
Do you think of gatherings of people and feel tension across your shoulders at the idea of joining them, but a heavy hole in your chest at the feeling of missing out? Do you remember that one sleepover or birthday where you felt you were part of an unstoppable team? What if you could get that feeling back? What if you could create a group where you really belong?
When I was at my lowest, it was community that saved me. Not just people to hang out with. Intentional, deep, vulnerable, love-out-loud friends who make you cackle in the cafe until you get strange looks. Friends who know each other and don’t need to be compartmentalized like incompatible species of bugs you keep in different jars, who throw birthdays that make you crack wide open and not even mind it, smiling as you dry your grateful tears. Friends who dance with each other in public, drunk on only their love for each other. I didn’t find a group that was already like this. We intentionally created this dynamic.
This is the story of how we built this and how you can too.
Pascal said roughly, I didn’t have time to write you a short letter so I wrote you a long one instead. The paradox of choice says that if presented with more than six options, people will usually choose none of them. I have included only my six favorite practices, refined over a decade of exploration.I have taken the time to write you a short book.
This is a book you can pick up this afternoon and use to host an event tonight. But the practices in it are durable enough to continue using for a lifetime. It is a recipe book for community bonding. It has only a few recipes but they are tried and true. I hope you enjoy them.
Table of Contents
Origin Story – the Birth of a Movement 1
Ecstatic Dance 3
The Retreat 4
Transfiguration 7
The Movement 12
Body Scanning 14
Breath, Intuition, and Self-Regulation 17
Deep Listening 20
Renga – A Modern Twist on a Very Old Game 22
The Game 22
Outcomes 24
Sharing Circle – The Core Technique 26
Ethical Responsibility 37
Practice as Poem – A Summary in 14 Lines 38
Ecstatic Dance – Starting a Community 41
Venue and Equipment 41
Advertisement and Announcements 41
Leadership and Logistics 42
Music Acquisition 43
Playlists 43
Protocol 44
Somatic Ecstatic Dance 47
Foundation – Intrinsic Somatic Movement 47
Witnessing 49
The Five P’s 50
Dancing Together – The Beauty of Equal Partnership 53
Mirroring 55
Breaking Contact 57
Deep Connection 58
A Return to Community 58
When the Party Ends 60
Further Reading 61
About the Author 64
Please spread the word! 66